Honey, Have you seen my wedding band?
"Honey, Have you seen my wedding band?" Dreaded words none of us ever want to hear from our spouses. These simple words can act as triggers for even the most emotionally diligent of us married people. All of us are busy. All of us have far too many details to attend with little or no respite. Is there a GPS device that can be used for locating our missing wedding bands? Or perhaps an electroshock devise for those of us who chronically misplace precious items.
My husbands titanium wedding band went missing some years ago. It was especially troubling since the ring was enhanced with a wide platinum inlay and 9, 2mm diamonds encircling the ring, and of course, was not insured against loss. We were both sad. I didn’t rail him about it because I could see he was already completely devastated. We turned the house upside down looking for the ring. We went through the trash and the cars, suitcases and backpacks. Finally, we gave up the search and I ordered a set of simple titanium rings as an anniversary present for both of us and to make him feel a little better about the loss.
At the time, my husband was a professional car detailer and it was common for him to trade car detailing for services. We had an ongoing account with our dentist and for many years enjoyed regular teeth cleaning services in trade for keeping our dentists and his family’s cars immaculate. In an effort to keep his wedding band in good shape, my husband promised me he would leave his wedding band at home while he worked on cars.
Two years after the ring disappeared, I was at the dentist for a procedure which required local anesthesia and while my dentist drilled away at some damaged tooth in my mouth, and like so many dentists do, he began to small talk with me. He asked me how the titanium ring business was going and I made affirming noises to the best of my ability given the compromising condition of my mouth. He then began telling me a story about borrowing his mothers car for a trip to some kind of dentist symposium or something. He said he had given the car over to the valet for the weekend and that when the weekend workshop ended, he returned to pick up the car. He said he opened the trunk and rolling around in the trunk, he found a titanium ring. The ring was engraved with “Your heart is my song”.
Photo Credit to Darby Davenport
At this point, I practically hit the ceiling! I yelled as best I could that the ring belonged to my husband. Of course I had to repeat this several times until he understood. He then proceeded to tell me that he thought the ring must belong to someone on staff at the hotel venue where he had stayed over the weekend. He thought perhaps his mothers car had served as a “cozy refuge” for some kind of wicked activity while parked in the parking garage and that during that activity, someone had lost a ring. So, he asked the valet if he recognized the ring. When the valet stated he did not, my dentist, who has a strong moral ethic, then proceeded to grill all the parking garage staff on shift.
As he was telling me this, I began to sweat. There was a huge wail building up in my chest and I soon began to feel an impending internal explosion. Finally, he told me that no one claimed the ring that day in the parking garage and that he had brought the ring home and handed it over to his wife who then dropped the ring in her jewelry box. As far as he knew, the ring should still be there. I felt completely wrung out at that point. I rarely enjoy procedures at the dentist, but this particular appointment took every inch of my patience and energy. We concluded the appointment with a call to my dentists wife, and she confirmed the ring was still in her possession!
Arrangements were made and I picked up the ring with no word of this discovery being mentioned to my dear husband. I had the ring professionally polished, put it in a ring box, bought a nice card and made dinner reservations. My unsuspecting husband sat down to dinner after a full work day, exhausted and very hungry. After we placed our order, I handed him the card. I don’t fully remember the written content in the card, but it was enough to make him tear up. I thought, “Just wait! This card is nothing compared to what you’re about to see!” I then placed the ring box on the table and said, “Will you marry me, again?”. Oh how I wish I had a picture of his face as he opened the box and realization slowly crept over his expression.
The loss of his beautiful wedding band provided one of the most miraculous and memorable moments of our years together. I don’t recommend attempting to purposely create a similar experience, but I do appreciate the lessons we learned from this. I often hear from customers who’ve lost their wedding rings and the biggest concern is the feelings of the spouse. There is often a huge degree of stress being placed on the person seeking to replace the lost ring and I continually feel grateful that I did not do that to my husband. We let go and we were rewarded, though it took two years! Our love was strengthened that day and we were given a very special story to share that was and continues to be ours and ours alone.
- Susan Smith